José February 22, 2010 Self Help Hits: 1.129 View Comments Print this post Send this post Copyright Jose Ramirez

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Throughout our lives we experience many times death. I mean the death of a relative, a relationship, but also may be the loss of a job, or a trait of our character that we consider important. Finally, there are many times we experience "losing" and we "die." Passing the time when some of us die, we suffer a lot. We fall victim to our lack of acceptance of life and ourselves. The five stages of acceptance, defined in an Dying On Death I always found the process of lying to the truth. Through denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance back (s) death (s) for good measure. Along the way, our greatness is reconciled with our humanity. This, paradoxically, is a gift of life.

Denial

It is at this early stage when the loss, an inner voice you deny that this problem exists for you. Something inside you says, "No, I do not." Or "No, not me." Or "This can not be." This is the addiction talking to you.

The greater your attachment, the more credibility you grant everything that whispers in your ear telling you that you are invulnerable and omnipotent, that life must be fair and perfect, the higher your inability to admit the loss. But do not panic, we all spend some time when we expect to be more of who we are and the life we ask more than you can give.

Anyway life is a good teacher and will not allow miss this lesson. She is not going to go for walks, or going to fade. In a strange way, you always follow with an amazing stubbornness, reminding you again and while still there, waiting to learn that and accept it as is it is.

Anger

Death is not only can you deny it, you can resist. Filled with anger can hit back to death and claim your outrage at injustice. This will not change anything, reality and your pain will be exactly the same. Your hits will fade in the air, will vanish like smoke in the wind.

To keep alive your anger relives the incident over and over again. Insist on an amendment reaffirms your vision of things as they should be "and you keep fighting. Also build barriers to defend against fururas deaths. Every day assert your "values" and not wanting a self-centered you become resentful.

Depression

The curious thing about anger is that sometimes you win. Yes, you will rise above the facts apparent victories can provide you the title, money, friendship and recognition. You can even come to believe that you have triumphed over reality.

But despite these palliatives, later or earlier, inside you rage, because "what happened once" always (re) lives in you and nothing on earth can silence them.

This is very sad. It is no good "to have achieved so much" or "having come so far." Crying and sadness will eventually reach your anger. The sadness is the instrument used to wear life willing to negotiate with reality.

Negotiation

The stage of the questions. Consider alternatives. Questioned the learned response, the automatic. It should be obvious that the denial and anger are not the answer. These will have won only resentment, selfishness and sadness. You acknowledge that you have failed and seek a better response.

What can you do?

Who cares what others think of me if I am unhappy?

What do I get my stubbornness if I'll kill you doing it?

Is there no other possible reaction?

Then, as more serene, you can think about what can be reasonably FEW DEATHS TO DO NOT ASSUME YOU DEAR.

Acceptance

As you can see, the first thing you have to do is accept that you lost. In doing so, you gain in humility and you get another perspective on life and yourself, more real. Humility is to give you the perfect life and the claim of invulnerability. You gain an imperfect life, but also humanity.

The fundamental fact is that "shit happens." That's what you get. It seems silly and obvious but there is great power in this admission. Means an opening to life with its ups and downs, giving up control (that has to be a certain way). Thus, each day becomes a new experience of growth and learning.

Therein lies your power and freedom. Now, with each experience, rather than resist, you can entrenerte and seek new and more constructive ways to react.

Once my beloved Eddie O., facing his impending death, said: "humility is truth." I do not know, but I think this is the largest and great lesson of this whole process that culminates in a surrender to reality. We win with humility and with it an appreciation for life and his future.

Here other books by Elizabeth Kubler Ross in Spanish that are full of wisdom.